John, who is 69 years of age, cares for his wife Mandy, 61, in their own home whilst she is receiving end-of-life care support from Crossroads Care Surrey.
Whilst our care support worker was attending to Mandy, I asked John to tell me about their lives, about Mandy’s diagnosis, and how Crossroads Care Surrey supports both Mandy and himself through the most difficult and challenging times anyone must face.
In 2016, Mandy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at just 54 years of age. It wasn’t long after, that John had to retire to look after Mandy as her behaviour had started to become aggressive. John has been based at home with Mandy ever since and is determined to keep her at home until the end of her life if he can.
Before Crossroads Care Surrey entered their lives John was struggling to do the simple everyday things that we all take for granted. “Even getting a haircut and taking the dog for a walk was difficult to achieve,” he said. He expressed feelings of being trapped and restricted by Mandy’s condition.
Crossroads Care Surrey began supporting John and Mandy in January 2020. Initially, at this point, Mandy was still mobile but had lost the power of speech. The support he was then receiving enabled him to do limited part-time work mainly from home, something his friends saw made a noticeable difference to his outlook and personal well-being. John’s hobbies are music and football, and by having support to look after Mandy, he has been able to remain a long-standing season ticket holder of his team, Brighton & Hove Albion FC.
Of the support, he is receiving John said “Having the same two carers from Crossroads Care Surrey all the way through is so vital, not just for Mandy but for me and my family as well. Because they are familiar to Mandy and she recognises them she is willing to accept their help and support”.
Whilst I chat with John, Jacqui, one of the two Crossroads Care Surrey carer support workers that visit, is feeding Mandy who is now bedridden. Feeding can take as long as an hour. During her visit, Jacqui washes Mandy and reads to her from her favourite books. Between them, the two carer support workers visit four days a week for a period of 3.5 hours each day.
When I asked John to describe the main benefits of the End-of-Life service Crossroads Care Surrey provides, he replied “One-to-one attention for Mandy and the security and trust between us all”.
If you would like additional support on a self-funded basis, please do reach out to us. We are here for those who care.
Contact 01372 677840 or email enquiries@crossroadscaresurrey.org.uk
